A Guide To Keeping Honest….Food-Wise……

Ok…..so I just showed you decadence with the bread bowl…..

Now – penance ūüėČ

https://www.buzzfeed.com/carolynkylstra/healthy-eating-charts?bfpi&bffb&utm_term=.nslrZMypK#.hiZkljz61

buzzfeed salad

Courtesy of buzzfeed.com

 

Food Porn of the Day – Lasagna Garlic Bread Bowl Dip

Oh. My. GORP!!!! ¬†Recipe below if you want to give it a try….

Disclaimer – I haven’t made this yet. ¬† If you try it, let me know what you thought!

kirbiecravings dot com

Courtesy of kirbiecravings.com

LASAGNA GARLIC BREAD BOWL DIP

INGREDIENTS:

  • 6 oz sourdough bread bowl
  • 4 oz ground beef or ground turkey
  • 8 oz can¬†tomato sauce
  • 1/4 cup chopped white onions
  • salt and pepper to taste
  • 6¬†oz sliced fresh mozzarella cheese
  • 2 tbsp butter
  • 2 tbsp olive oil
  • 4 garlic cloves, minced
  • 1 tsp finely chopped parsley

 

DIRECTIONS:

1. Slice off the top of the bread bowl, about 1 inch down from the top. Hollow the inside of the bread bowl, leaving about 1/2 inch around the sides and bottom. Slice the bread bowl lid and hollowed out bread portions into large rectangles to be used for dipping later.

2. In a small bowl, add garlic, olive oil and butter. Heat in the microwave for about 1 minute (make sure to cover bowl before heating) until the garlic is cooked and garlic flavor is infused with the oils. Brush the insides of the garlic bread bowl with the garlic butter mixture. Brush the surface of the bread rectangles with garlic as well. Sprinkle parsley over buttered surfaces.

3. In a large pan over medium high heat on the stove top, cook ground beef/turkey and onions. Stir in half of the tomato sauce. Add salt and pepper as needed.

4. Preheat oven to 375F. Place bread bowl onto a baking pan lined with parchment paper or silicone baking mat. Add a thin layer of cheese inside the bread bowl. Add in half of the meat. Top with half of the remaining tomato sauce. Add another layer of cheese. Add the rest of the meat and then sauce. Add another layer of cheese, covering the entire surface of the bread bowl. Place bread rectangles onto baking sheet.

5. Bake for about 10-12 minutes, or until cheese is melted and bread is toasted. Remove bread rectangles from oven. Turn oven to low broil and place bread bowl on a shelf in the lower section of the oven. Broil for about 2-3 minutes or until surface of cheese  begins to bubble and blister. Remove from oven. Sprinkle additional parsley for garnish if desired. Serve while hot.

http://kirbiecravings.com/2016/06/lasagna-garlic-bread-bowl-dip.html

Two Thumbs Down

During my lunch break one Tuesday, I was checking my e-mail and saw a message from a restaurant that I used to frequent. ¬†Touristy restaurant in a touristy town. ¬†But….the locals drool over this place too. ¬†The New York times gave it a glowing review. ¬†4 out of 5 stars. ¬†At first, I was shocked….and then I was appalled. ¬†This place is horrifically expensive, parking is a nightmare, the food is not cooked all that well, and service is abominable. ¬†Buuuuuuuuut – all the “cool” people love it…..so….everyone has to love it? ¬†Right?

coverjunction dot com

Courtesy of coverjunction.com

Which leads me to my diatribe.

Over the last 5 years, I have definitely relaxed my stance around food. ¬†I fully admit that I was a food snob back in the day. ¬†Hell…some may even argue that I still am. But, honestly, I’m not. ¬†The other day, I was swooning over those new Macaroni and Cheese snacks at Burger King. ¬†And when I posted about it, I got a lot of shit for it from multiple folks.

eater dot com

Courtesy of eater.com

But….I dare criticized a restaurant darling in my area and I got crucified. ¬†“I LOOOOOVEEE that place….” ¬†“The food is superb!” ¬†“Best restaurant EVEEEEEEEEERRRRRRR!!”

But…I’ll be brave and ask the question.

ARE YOU PEOPLE SMOKING CRACK??

stickermotions dot com

Courtesy of stickermotion.com

I don’t toot my own horn very often….but this is one of those times that I’m going to have to, so I can prove a point.

I don’t know everything about food. ¬†Far from it. ¬†But…it is one of my biggest passions in life. ¬†I read about it, I research it, I cook it, I eat it….I LIVE IT. ¬†I know what’s good, how something is supposed to taste, how it’s supposed to be prepped, and how it’s supposed to be prepared. ¬†Do my recipes flop once in a while? ¬†Hell yes! ¬†But…you can bet that the tasty dish I put in front of you has been tested and thoroughly researched. ¬†I know the proper texture of a perfectly done risotto. ¬†I know what a good bahn mi tastes like. ¬†And…I bake a pretty mean and pretty tasty chocolate cake.

But what gets my goat, is that many of you don’t know WHAT constitutes “good food” ¬†and have the utter nerve to call ME¬†a food snob. Where’s your cred, brah?I also get annoyed that many of you are fooled time and time again and pay good money for shitty food.

I liken you to those that immediately fall¬†in love with “indie horror movies.” ¬†Bear with me for a moment.

Back to risotto.  You have to have to start with a decent arborio rice, shallot/onion, a good stock, a decent wine, and olive oil.  You have to take your time and cook it slowly, teasing all of that decadent starch out of the rice.  Finally, you finish it with some butter and parmesan and then you have a lovely puddle of cheesy goodness with each grain of rice cooked to the proper consistency.  You clean the plate and you feel full and happy.

celebritychefdottv

Courtesy of celebritychef.tv

Enter a good horror movie.  You have to have a good plot, characters that you are invested in Рa slow build throughout, and either a twist of an ending or one that makes a little bit of sense. You leave the theater satisfied and want to see the movie again.

en dot wikipedia dot org

Courtesy of en.wikipedia.org

With either good food or a good horror movie, sometimes people screw up too many of their respective elements and it cheapens the experience. ¬†You know something is not quite right about your risotto. ¬†The movie wasn’t what you thought it would be….and not in a good way. ¬†But – you don’t listen to your gut and tell everyone “OH….that movie was awesome!” ¬†or “That risotto is the BEST!” ¬†Why? ¬†Because you don’t want to be the lone dissenter and face criticism. ¬†Or….maybe you really didn’t know any better. ¬†Or worse – you thought you were the SHIT¬†and talked a real good game, spewing out that good ole “armchair critique.”

imdb dot com

Courtesy of imdb.com

I recently went to a restaurant that everyone in downtown loves.  Had their special for the evening Рa ribeye with homemade sausage gravy and veggies.  It LOOKED impressive. However, with my first bite, I immediately realized that the steak had not seen a grain of salt or pepper.  HOW DO YOU FUCKING FORGET TO SEASON A STEAK??????  And the veggies РFROZEN.  Later, I stopped by McDonalds to get some fries.  The fries were way better.

Moral of the story – appreciate food for what it is…..but edja-muh-cate yourself. ¬†Take the time to learn how a food/recipe is supposed to taste. ¬†Don’t pay for and laud expensive mediocre crap.

My Favorite Quiche Recipe – Broccoli Cheddar Quiche

Let’s face it – I will never be as crafty and creative as Martha Stewart. She is a clever dame. ¬†Once in awhile, I will recreate her Broccoli Cheddar Quiche. ¬†It is YUM!! ¬†I have the link to the recipe. ¬† I have tweaked it slightly – just so ya know….I boil my broccoli in salted water until fork tender. ¬†Try it both ways and see what you prefer

broccoli-cheddar-quiche-med107742_vert

Courtesy of marthastewart.com

http://www.marthastewart.com/868430/broccoli-cheddar-quiche

Reading (Recipes) Is Good For You

In this day and age, most people seem to have the attention span of a flea.  That includes moi.

It’s 5 pm, your stomach is growling, and you don’t feel like fast food or microwave meals. ¬†So you start searching the web for a recipe, because dammit….you are feeling adventurous.

You slave over the recipe and then it comes out burned, looking like dog food, or it doesn’t match the pretty picture that you saw on Pinterest. ¬†Why? ¬†More than likely, you really didn’t READ the recipe….you merely skimmed it, because you thought you were the next Bobby Flay or Julia Child. ¬†But….you aren’t **WOMP…WOMP…..WOMP…..”

sue j

Me, as Julia Child – courtesy of Kat Nerdvana

So here are a few reasons why you need to READ the recipe:

  • Ingredients – I know it seems straightforward…..but….you need to make sure you have all the ingredients and the correct ingredients. ¬†If a recipe calls for buttermilk- there is a reason for it, and substituting regular milk just won’t do. ¬†And if you find out that you don’t Parmesan cheese for Cacio e Pepi….well…..that’s tragic.
  • Preparation – If you’re starving, it probably is not a good idea to start a recipe that has a gazillion steps or a few very time consuming steps. ¬†Throw stuff in a slow cooker and let simmer? ¬†Yay! ¬†Chopping/peeling/cleaning a bunch of veggies? ¬†Nay!
  • “Pre-steps” – Oh….so you have soak dried beans overnight before you can use them? ¬†Or marinate a roast 12 hours prior to an actual cook? Yep – unless you want crunchy legumes or bland ass meat.
  • “Post-steps” – I have to chill this for HOW LONG before I can eat it??
  • Technique – Know how to chiffonade basil? ¬†Truss a chicken? ¬†Fold egg whites into a mixture? ¬†If you don’t, you may want to take the time to learn when your stomach is not growling. ¬†When you’re hungry, proper technique goes out the window. ¬†Hell…all rational thought goes out the window.

This is what happens when you rush…..your finished product looks like crap-ola. The top picture is a lovely strawberry rhubarb pie, courtesy of “Sally’s Baking Addiction.” ¬†The bottom picture – that is my sad and rushed attempt at it. ¬†It tasted….ok. ¬†In case you want try to make this pie – here is the link –¬†http://sallysbakingaddiction.com/2016/05/13/strawberry-rhubarb-pie/

pie

Take the time to read the recipes and read them carefully.